Their First Time
by Flagg1991
Summary: A sequel to "A Crush on Their Brother." Lincoln's budding relationship is threatened by snooping teachers, suspicious parents, and another sister's growing infatuation.
1. Boyfriend and Girlfriend

It was a chilly October afternoon. Lincoln pulled his jacket closed at the throat and walked through the door opening on the school playground. A blustery breeze sent orange, yellow, and brown leaves dancing across the ground. Lincoln looked into the steely gray sky and waited a moment. He thought he felt a rain drop, but if he had, it was alone.

He started toward the jungle gym, and saw Luan waiting for him, as she did every afternoon. She waved, and he waved back.

"Hey, Linc," she smiled when he walked up. She held a thick textbook to her chest. "I was going to _leave,_ but I figured I'd wait. I wouldn't want to leave you _fall_ by yourself."

Lincoln couldn't help but laugh. Puns, he had heard, were the lowest form of humor. He didn't believe that. It took a true maniacal genius to produce such cheesy fare on (often) little to no notice.

She leaned forward, and they kissed.

"I'm trying to think of something in response," Lincoln said as they started walking toward the street, "but I got nothing."

"Luan Loud," she said, "leaving them speechless since 2003."

"I didn't know you were talking when you were a newborn," he said as he slipped his arm around her shoulders.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Lincoln Loud," she said, looking at him and pursing her lips.

"Oh? Like what?"

Luan looked thoughtful for a minute. "Like that I sometimes tell dirty jokes."

"Yup," Lincoln said, "already knew that."

Lincoln was the only one she told her dirty jokes to, and only after they started dating (Lincoln had a hard time thinking of himself as "dating" his sister, but that's what it was). She always blushed crimson when she did; it was the cutest thing Lincoln had ever seen.

"Hmmmm," Luan said, and looked into the sky. "Did you know I'm secrertly afraid of millipedes?"

"Millipedes?" Lincoln asked. "You mean the bug with all the legs?"

"Yeah," Luan said, and shivered. "They're so gross."

"No, actually, I didn't know that."

"Don't tell anyone."

"I'll keep that in mind the next time you chase Leni around with a rubber spider."

"You _better_ not," she said. "Unless you want to see me pee my pants."

"Hmmmm."

"Shut up," she laughed.

They were almost to the street. A chain-link fence separated the schoolyard from the sidewalk. A narrow opening allowed passage from one to the other. As they approached it, Lynn streaked past, running backwards, and jumped into the air, snagging a football and falling hard on the ground.

"Sorry, guys," she said as she got to her feet. "I didn't see you."

 _Waaaay_ in the distance, Joey Turner stood by the teacher's parking lot. At least Lincoln assumed it was Joey Turner. Joey's family moved to Royal Woods from Arkansas over the summer, and he started school in September. He played on the football team, and somewhere along the way, his and Lynn's paths crossed. They weren't exactly dating, but they spent an _awful_ lot of time together, and Lynn always looked so happy, which made Lincoln happy. He was afraid that she would be crushed after what happened over the summer, and seeing her with someone else, and genuinely glad, was nice.

"He said I couldn't catch one of his long passes," Lynn said, "but I showed him." She cupped her hands to her mouth. "Booooo-yah!"

"You have practice today?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah. Coach Johnson's running late though."

"Have fun."

"Alright," she called over her shoulder as she ran back to Joey. "See you guys at home."

Lincoln stopped and allowed Luan to pass through the gate before him, since they couldn't do it side-by-side.

"Such a gentleman," Luan said. On the sidewalk, he put his arm around her waist and drew her closer.

Fifty yards back, Agnes Johnson peered out her classroom window and watched as Lincoln and his older sister crossed Schoolhouse Road and disappeared down Denton Ave. A cup of coffee was forgotten in her hand.

"They're awfully chummy," Richard Moss, Luan's teacher, had said the week before in the teacher's lounge. The observation struck Agnes as strange. For one, she didn't make it a habit to spy on her students. They came to her classroom and then they left. After that, they only had the occasional chance encounter with them in the hall, or as she walked to her car. That Richard (the other teachers called him Jabba the Moss behind his back, because he looked like Jabba the Hutt's fatter older brother) had observed Lincoln and Luan enough to form an option on their relationship was...well, frankly, weird.

For another, she was keenly aware that Lincoln's family was very large and close knit. Once, she'd assigned the class a project: Prepare a presentation on your family. Lincoln made a diorama that was, she learned later, destroyed, and his sisters volunteered to act as a living replacement. Agnes personally thought it was sweet. Maybe they _were_ a little chummier than the typical American family, but so what? She'd rather see that than a family like her own, where everyone was so wrapped up in themselves that they couldn't be bothered with anyone else.

Over the past week, however, she'd found herself watching Lincoln and Luan more and more, and she hated to admit it, but Richard was right: They _were_ a little too chummy. She could _possibly_ forgive the hand holding, but every afternoon, Luan greeted her brother with a kiss on the lips. The kiss wasn't obscene in of itself, just a quick peck. She'd seen a thousand boys and girls exchange such kisses in her years of teaching, and had learned to ignore it as harmless. But these were siblings.

Today, Lincoln put his arm around his sister's shoulders and drew her close to him, and she responded by resting her head against his.

Shaking her head, she went back to her desk and sat down. Maybe she was being too judgmental. Again, the Louds _were_ particularly close. Still, it didn't _feel_ right.

 _They're acting like boyfriend and girlfriend_.

A shiver ran down her spine.

 _You're jumping the gun._

Maybe. And even if she wasn't, was it even her place to do anything?

What was she thinking? Of _course_ it was.

But only _if_ she had to.

She took a sip of coffee and began the long, arduous task of grading assignments.


	2. The Long Way Home

Lincoln and Luan got home just after four. They would have been back sooner, but they cut through the park and then followed Patricia Avenue instead of the much shorter Bullworth Street. They did this several times a week to have more time alone together. At home, they weren't able to act of their affections. They sat together on the sofa more often that they had in the past, and did more activities together, but they couldn't kiss or hold hands openly, which endlessly frustrated Luan. It wasn't easy being in the same room with the man you loved and not being able to _love_ him. Lincoln didn't like it either. He was happiest when he was holding Luan's hand or playing with her hair or snuggled up next to her. Anything else felt wrong.

When they got to their street, Luan pecked Lincoln on the cheek and went ahead. He waited a few minutes, then went around back, entering through the kitchen. It was his idea to come home "separately" at least as often as they came home together, lest they rouse suspicion. Lincoln was terrified of his parents finding out, because if they did, they would try to separate him and Luan, and the vague idea of not having her left him feeling cold and hollow.

Dad was at the stove making dinner when he came in. He glanced over his shoulder. "Hey, son."

"Hey, dad. What'cha making?"

"Beans and franks."

Lincoln's shoulders slumped. For the longest time, dad made the same seven meals every single week. He and his sisters had finally convinced him to switch up the menu, but he still made beans and franks once a week. Or once every other week. Too often either way.

Luan came into the kitchen and went to the fridge. "Hey, Linc," she said as if they hadn't just walked home holding hands, "wanna hear a joke?"

She took a gallon of milk out of the fridge and poured herself a glass.

"What joke?" Lincoln asked.

"What did the cow say to the chicken?"

"What?"

" _Mooooo_ ve over." She laughed.

"Ha, ha, ha, you're funny," Lincoln said. He wanted to sound sarcastic, but he couldn't help smiling. It was a stupid joke, but the sound of Luan's laughter was like music to his ears.

"I'd tell you another one, but I don't want to _milk_ it."

Lincoln laughed this time, and so did Luan.

In his room, he kicked out of his shoes and flopped back on his bed. He was very tired, he realized, but that didn't surprise him. He didn't sleep well on nights that Luan didn't sleep with him. Sleeping in the same bed was extremely risky, but having her there with him was worth it. The last time she slept in his bed was Saturday night. She was there at midnight, and they talked and held hands until they fell asleep, but when Lincoln woke Sunday morning, she was gone, back in her own room. He hated waking up without her almost as much as he hated sleeping without her.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out. It was a text from Clyde.

"Wanna ride bikes later?"

Lincoln started to reply that he was busy, but stopped. Over the past few months he'd been so caught up in Luan that he hadn't had much time for Clyde.

Or Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln sighed. That was another bridge he'd have to cross. He knew Ronnie Anne liked it, and up until this past summer, he liked her back. Now he was with Luan. He'd been putting off telling Ronnie Anne that there was someone else because he didn't want to hurt her. He still liked her and cared very deeply for her. God, why does it always have to be so _hard?_

"Sure. Let me eat dinner first then I will text u."

"Ok. Cool."

Lincoln sat his phone aside and thought more about Ronnie Anne.

" _You seem really...distant_ , _"_ she'd said to him not long after school started. _"Are you okay?"_

He told her he had a lot on his mind, which wasn't actually a lie. At that point, he was just starting to get serious with Luan and still worried about Lynn. She showed no outward signs of being hurt (probably for his benefit, for which he loved her), but he knew she was. A rush of guilt came over him. He grabbed his phone and texted Ronnie Anne.

"Me and Clyde are going to ride bikes do u want to come?"

A few minutes later: "Sure! :D"

That made Lincoln feel even worse. No one used that happy face unless they were happy. She was happy he wanted to spend time with her.

He sighed. He wouldn't tell her today. He'd put that off just a _little_ longer and then do it in private. She'd probably give him a black eye, but he didn't care. When you looked at it from her point of view, he deserved it.

Someone knocked on his door, startling him. It was Luan.

"Oh, brother," she said in a singsong voice. "Dinner is ready."

Lincoln didn't feel particularly hungry (even notwithstanding the fact that dinner was beans and franks), but he got up anyway. "Oh, sister, I'm coming."

He kissed her deeply, running his hands through her hair, and she kissed him back, her knees buckling.

"That always makes me weak in the knees," she said when the kiss broke. "One day you're going to make me fall down and hurt myself and it'll be all your fault, Lincoln Loud."

Lincoln grinned. "I'll just kiss your booboo and make it all better."

"Come on," she laughed, "I'm starved."


	3. He Should Be Mine

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She pursed her lips, turned left, then right, and tried to don what she'd heard called "bedroom eyes." Maybe it worked for some women, but for her, they looked more like "squinting into the sun" eyes.

She drew a heavy, dejected sigh. She wasn't pretty. Never had been, and probably never would be. Her personality wasn't bubbly like Luan's. She rarely laughed. Those were the things that attracted Lincoln, right? What would he ever see in her?

Nothing, that's what. She had come to that realization weeks ago, but every now and again, she found herself here in the bathroom, searching her face for something, anything that might appeal to her brother. And each time, she found nothing.

 _You're being too hard on yourself_.

Maybe, then again, maybe not. The mirror doesn't lie. It showed you your face just the way it was.

And her face was _bleh_.

Desperate anger filled her. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't she be pretty like Leni, or at least cute like Lana? Why did she have to be...herself?

Shaking her head, she left the bathroom and went out into the hallway. Her siblings had already gone down the dining room for dinner; the prospect of going down there and sitting through another meal like everything was okay sickened her. Though Lincoln and Luan had been taking pains not to be too forward with their affections, it hung between them like a dense cloud of smoke. A dense _choking_ cloud of smoke. The ones who didn't know (mom, dad, Lola, and Lana) apparently didn't feel it, while the others who knew either ignored it or also couldn't feel it. She was the only one...the only one who felt suffocated, the only one who could barely breathe when she saw her brother and sister sitting together on the couch.

 _He should be mine,_ she thought, grinding her teeth. _He should be mine and I should be his._

Yeah, well, you can't always have what you want. That's what Mick Swagger said. You can't always have what you want, but sometimes you have what you need. He was right about the first part, but she wasn't so sure about the second. She _needed_ Lincoln like a fish needed water. Her love and passion burned so bright she sometimes feared that it would erupt from her like lava. Would she ever have him? Would she ever have what she _needed?_

A small, hateful voice told her that she wouldn't, and she was inclined to believe it. She would be damned to pine for her brother's love but never to have it. Meanwhile, Luan would be laid up in his bed at night, snuggled under his blankets with her head resting on his chest, smiling and content like a cat by a warm fire. The image was vivid in her mind, and she was surprised to find herself hating her sister. This shocked her so much that she faltered on her way down the stairs.

 _You're losing it._

She was, and had been since the day she realized that she loved Lincoln; from there, it was all downhill. She lost interest in things she once loved. She could focus when she tried to read. She barely slept at night, and when she did, she dreamed of Lincoln's face. When she was alone, she paced her room, her nerves jittery. Sometimes she hid in the air vent over Lincoln's room and watched him sleep. So beautiful. So perfect. Loss welled within her, and she would begin to cry.

It was her own fault, she supposed. After she found out that Lynn and Luan were both in love with their brother, she sat down and tried to figure out why. Why would they be attracted to their own _brother?_ She found her answer when she listed all of his wonderful qualities. He was sweet, sensitive, caring, gentle, helpful, considerate, selfless, and a million other things. She only realized she was falling in love with him when she was halfway to the ground.

She should have moved on. She should have accepted it and not given it any thought.

Whoops.

Presently, she sat at the table and started eating. She watched Luan throughout, envy, anger, jealousy, and resentment bubbling just below her calm façade.

 _I'm going to take him away from you, Luan,_ she thought. _He's going to be_ mine.


	4. Perverts

Agnes Johnson arrived at Royal Woods Consolidated every day promptly at 5:30am, and had every day for ten years. She had a tendency to get sidetracked, and getting to school that early afforded her more than enough time to get ready for the day even if she did lose her way here and there. On the morning of October 22, however, she pulled into the teacher's parking lot off the gym at 5. The only other person there was Principal Nolan, who was so old he sat behind Jesus in the third grade (ha, school humor) yet refused to retire. She didn't know what time he usually came in, but if he was anything like her father (who was seventy-six and lived in Florida), he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed by 3:30.

Agnes parked in her usual spot and got out. Inside, her footfalls echoed through the cavernous hallways. Having heard her, Principal Nolan shuffled out of his office and greeted her. "Good morning, Agnes. You're here early."

"Just wanted to get a head start on my day."

That was the truth. She did not tell him _why_ she wanted to get a head start on her day, but he didn't ask, so there was that.

In her classroom, she busied herself preparing for the day. Other teachers began trickling in around 6:30, and by seven, she was finished.

And stood by the window.

Lincoln and Luan Loud lived on Franklin Avenue, which was eight blocks west of the school, and the easiest route from here to there was down the side street she'd seen them disappear down the day before. Given that the first bell rang at 7:35, she figured they would be here no later than 7:30.

She waited impatiently for twenty minutes before she saw them coming down the street, holding hands and talking. From a distance, they looked like any teenage couple.

Couple.

Not siblings.

They crossed Schoolhouse Road and came through the fence, Lincoln first then Luan second, their hands never unclasping. They reached the playground equipment and stopped. They talked for nearly three more minutes before Lincoln looked around, then kissed her.

Agnes was fifty yards away, so she couldn't be entirely sure, but she _thought_ he used his tongue.

 _Jesus_.

She watched as she smiled at him, then let his hand go and started walking around to the front of the building, as that entrance was closer to her classroom. Lincoln looked after her until she disappeared from view, then he turned around and started for the side entrance. He was smiling the smile of a boy in love, a look Agnes had become well acquainted with in her eighteen years of teaching.

 _There_ is _something going on between them._

Feeling dazed and disgusted, Agnes went to her desk and sat down, her mind spinning. Did the parents...allow this? Neither Lincoln nor Luan seemed overly concerned with being seen, which suggested to Agnes that their affair had been normalized. What kind of parents let their son and daughter...do _that_? God, what _else_ did they let them do?

Or, oh God, did they _learn_ this from their parents?

She knew the Louds somewhat, as all of their older children had passed through her class. She never got a strange vibe from them, but, as far as she could recall, no one got a strange vibe about John Wayne Gacy until the police started digging bodies out of his basement. Was it possible that the Loud children were being abused?

Possible, yes, but, now that she thought about it, none of them showed any signs of abuse. They seemed normal, happy, and well-adjusted.

Save for Lincoln and Luan's... "relationship." She mulled over her next move for the rest of the day. She could call child protective services, but she could not convince herself beyond a shadow of a doubt that any of the Loud kids were in danger. She could contact the parents and make them aware of the situation (if they didn't already know). Or she could ignore it and let it go. If Lincoln and Luan were simply...interested in one another...why bother? As long as no one was being hurt or coerced, it really shouldn't bother her.

Only it _did_ bother her. It wasn't normal. It was obscene.

Throughout the day, she paid special attention to Lincoln Loud. _You dirty little pervert_ , she thought once. Of course, Luan was older, so she was worse.

That night, she drove to her little house on Pine Street and ate a dinner for one while stroking her cat, Mr. Fluffy. She kept thinking of Lincoln and Luan Loud out there on Franklin Avenue. They were probably making love to each other right now, their hot, sweaty bodies entangled in incest. She wondered if Luan even bothered to take her skirt off, of if she simply slid down her underwear. And did Lincoln...pull out?

Probably not.

Perverts, the both of them.

Across town, Lincoln and Luan were indeed in bed together, but they were not having sex: Luan was snuggled in Lincoln's arms and drifting on the verge of sleep. She had come in around eleven, and they talked for an hour before she started feeling drowsy. She always felt so comfortable when she crawled into bed with Lincoln. His warmth, his voice, and his touch conspired to put her in a daze.

"I saw Ronnie Anne today," Lincoln said drowsily.

"Oh?" Luan muttered. "How is she?"

"She's good."

No one knew that Ronnie Anne was interested in Lincoln as anything more than a friend; even Lincoln himself sometimes wondered how she really felt. He was pretty sure she liked him, but you can never be too sure about people. He didn't tell her there was someone else, though. Not today. And probably not tomorrow either.

"How's Clyde?"

"Alright."

"You should spend more time with your friends, Linc. I'll be right here when you get back."

"I know," Lincoln said, "I just don't want to hang out with them when I can hang out with you instead."

That made Luan smile. "You're a dork."

"I know."

"But you're _my_ dork."

They soon drifted off. Above them, a face appeared in the air vent.

" _Soon...he'll be_ my _dork."_


	5. Parent-Teacher Conference

Rita Loud hung up the phone and leaned back in her swivel chair. She chewed her lower lip for a minute before picking the phone back up and dialing Lynn Sr.'s cell. He answered on the third ring.

"Hey, honey."

"Hey," Rita said. She didn't speak for a minute; she was gathering her thoughts.

"What's up?"

"I just got a call from Lincoln's teacher. She wants to see us at six about Lincoln and Luan."

"What about them?"

Rita sighed. "She says she's witnessed some inappropriate behavior between them."

Lynn fell silent.

"I told you there was something up with them," she said.

The children were close. They always had been. But over the past month or so, Rita had noticed Lincoln and Luan becoming closer. A little _too_ close. Once she walked in on them snuggled on the couch and watching TV. Luan's head was resting against Lincoln's chest, and Lincoln's arm was draped across Luan's side. She didn't say anything, though it struck her as odd. Another time, she was riding home with a coworker and passed them on their way home from school. They were holding hands. Last week, Lola mentioned seeing Luan come out of Lincoln's room early one morning, and just a few days ago, as she was gathering Lincoln's dirty laundry up from his floor, she found one of Luan's socks.

She had been debating on whether or not to say anything. She was leaning toward ignoring it. They simply bonded more over the summer. It happened. For a time, Lynn and Luna were very close, so close in fact that she often found them asleep in the same bed. She thought it was cute. Treating this as anything different would be unfair.

But there were the looks. Lincoln and Luan thought she and Lynn were oblivious, but they saw the way they looked at each other over dinner. Just the other day she caught Lincoln looking at Luan, and thought _I remember when Lynn used to look at me that way_. She laughed it off, but deep inside, disquiet wormed into her stomach.

Now Ms. Johnson was seeing it too, which vindicated Rita. Lynn thought she was "overreacting."

"I still don't think it's anything," Lynn said. "But if she wants to see us, I'll pick you up and we'll go over."

Rita hung up the phone and sighed. The rest of the afternoon dragged sluggishly by. At 5:45, Lynn picked her up in the van.

"Did she say what kind of behavior she saw?" he asked as he navigated through the streets of Royal Pines.

"Kissing and handholding," Rita said.

Lynn's face crinkled. "Really? That's nothing. They're brother and sister, for christsake. They can't show affection?"

"Of course they can, Lynn, but not many brothers kiss their sisters on the lips and hold their hands."

"Well," Lynn said, but didn't continue. Fifteen minutes later, they parked in front of the school gym in a slot marked VISITOR. They found Ms. Johnson in her room. A tall, severe woman with graying red hair and a stern face with frown lines and crows feet wrinkles around her eyes, she had always reminded Rita of a school headmistress from a Victorian novel. When they entered, she greeted them with a sour smile.

"Mrs. Loud, Mr. Loud. Thank you for coming."

Two chairs sat in front of her desk. Rita sat in one and Lynn in the other.

"What's this about?" Lynn asked.

"It's about Lincoln and Luan. Far be it from me to judge, but I have observed some...odd behavior between them recently that I feel should be brought to your attention."

"What behavior is that?" Lynn asked.

"Well," Ms. Johnson started, "yesterday I observed them on the playground kissing. With tongue."

Rita flinched.

"Are you sure they were using tongue?" Lynn asked.

"Not one hundred percent, but it seemed that way, yes. I was at the window over there."

Lynn glanced at the window. "Where were they?"

"By the playground equipment."

Lynn looked out the window. "That's a pretty far distance to see someone using tongue or not."

"Has anyone else...noticed anything?" Rita asked.

"Yes," Ms. Johnson said. "Mr. Moss, Luan's teacher, has commented on the way they conduct themselves."

"Look, Ms. Johnson," Lynn said. "We're a close family, and we wear our emotions on our sleeves. Showing affection is normal for us. So far all you've seen is a brother holding his sister and kissing her, and the last one you saw from virtually the next state over."

Ms. Johnson's mouth tightened. "Mr. Loud, I'm simply informing you that your children are acting more like a couple than siblings, and if I see them sucking each other's faces off one more time, I am going to write them up."

Lynn opened his mouth to argue, but Rita laid a hand on his shoulder. "We understand," she said.

On the way home, Lynn fumed. "That woman has some nerve," he said. "Did you see how far it was from that window to the playground? My eyes are damn good, and I tell you, I wouldn't even be able to tell someone was kissing, much less using their tongue to do it."

"Lynn," Rita said. "Maybe we should separate them, just in case."

Lynn looked at her, shocked. "What? Separate them? Why, because some repressed old prude thinks showing affection to your family is dirty? Absolutely not."

"Lynn..."

"I said no." 

Rita sighed. Lynn rarely put down his foot, but when he did, he did. Ms. Johnson _was_ a...prude, as Lynn put it, but maybe she was onto something.

 _And what if she is? What if Lincoln and Luan are...?_

She blinked. What _if?_ She tried to imagine what she would do. Take them both to therapy, of course, but what else? Could she really separate them? They weren't talking about the boy next door, they lived under the same roof!

She didn't know _what_ to do.

When they got home, Lori and Leni were watching TV. Lisa was busy with one of her many projects, beakers and test tubes crowding the coffee table. In the dining room, Luan was doing her homework, and Rita looked around for her son.

"Where's Lincoln?" she asked.

"In his room, I think," Luan said. Rita scanned the girl for any indication that the mention of Lincoln's name affected her (the way the mention of Lynn's name had affected her years ago), but saw nothing.

She would watch them, she decided. If there was a problem, she would help them fix it. If there wasn't, she would drop it.

She hoped to do the latter.


	6. Break Up With Lincoln Or I'm Telling

Luan finished brushing her teeth, spat into the sink, and looked at herself in the mirror. She noticed a tiny red pimple forming on her right check. She prodded it with her finger and grimaced. It hurt.

 _Puberty,_ she thought, _it sure is the_ zits.

She laughed at her wit. In all seriousness, though, she was getting pretty tired of the changes her body was going through, zits, BO, hair in unexpected (and unwelcome) areas. She did not look forward to having to shave her legs every week (or did you do it more often than that?) Remembering to apply deodorant twice a day was hard enough.

But, hey, that's all part of growing up, right?

She turned off the sink, switched out the light, and went into her room. Luna was busy restringing her guitar, her tongue clenched between her teeth in concentration. Luan sat on her bed, and that's when she noticed the envelope sitting on her pillow. She furrowed her brow and picked it up. Her name was written across the front in bold black marker, underlined three times for emphasis. A love letter from her man?

She opened it and took out a folded sheet of computer paper. She opened it, and as she read, her blood ran cold.

BREAK UP WITH LINCOLN OR I'M TELLING MOM AND DAD. DON'T TELL HIM WHY.

She read the message three more times, hoping against hope that her eyes and brain were betraying her.

They weren't.

There was something else in the evelope. She shook it out, and a Polaroid dropped into her lap. It was of her and Lincoln at the park, kissing each other passionately, her arms around his neck, his arms around her waist.

 _Lynn._

Luan's horror turned to anger. Her fist tightened and the paper crumpled in her hand. She got up and stormed into Lynn's room. She was lying on her bed and tossing a tennis ball into the air. Lucy had her nose buried in a book.

"What the hell is this?" Luan demanded.

Lynn started, and the ball smacked her in the face. With a muttered "ow," she sat up.

"What?"

Luan threw the note onto the bed. "This!" She slapped the picture on top of it. "And this!"

Lynn picked both of them up and looked at them, her eyes widening. She looked at Luan. "I-I didn't do this."

"You're the only one who knows."

"I swear! I-" she glanced over at Lucy. "Can we get a moment, Blair Witch?"

Lucy got up and walked out of the room, never once looking up from her book.

"Luan, I didn't do this. I swear to God. I gave him up so you guys could be happy. Why would I turn around and wreck that?"

"Maybe you're still jealous," Luan said, putting her hands on her hips. "Maybe you're unhappy and you want _us_ to be unhappy too."

Lynn bit her lip, her fists clenching. Instead of flying at her sister, however, she took a deep breath. "Luan...I'm telling you, I did not do this. I swear on mom and dad's lives."

Luan searched her sister's eyes for traces of deception, but saw only earnesty. Which meant...

"Oh, God," Luan moaned and sat on the bed. "Someone else knows."

"You guys haven't exactly been on the down low," Lynn said. She looked at the letter again. "But who could it be?"

"I don't know," Luan said miserably.

Lynn brightened. "Hey, I have an idea."

Ten minutes later, they were standing in Lisa's room. Lisa sat in a straight back chair and read the letter. Luan had scribbled everything out but OR I'M TELLING MOM AND DAD.

"You can find out who sent this to be by the handwriting, right?" Luan asked.

"Possibly," Lisa said. "Why is most of it crossed off?"

"Because it's about something private," Lynn said.

Lisa didn't speak for a moment. "Is it in regards to Luan and Lincoln's relationship."

Luan's jaw dropped. "You _know?_ "

"Yes," Lisa said. "We all know. With the exception of our parents, Lana, and Lola. And Lilly, of course, but she hardly counts as she wouldn't understand anyway."

"How long have you known?"

"Since the day you and Lynn fought in the backyard."

"You've known that long and never said anything?" Lynn asked.

"You never said you were in love with Lincoln," Lisa pointed out. "Besides, after recovering from the initial shock, we decided that it was none of our business."

Luan slapped her forehead. She felt like turning into a puddle.

"Do you have any idea who could have sent this?" Lynn asked.

Lisa read the note once more, then shook her head. "As far as I know, everyone has gotten used to the situation and, in fact, supports it. The first name that pops to mind is Lori, as she was the one most vocal in her opposition in the beginning, but she came around."

Without another word, Lynn left the room and went to Lori's door. Lori was sitting on her bed texting. Leni was already asleep.

"Lori," she said, "can you come into Lisa's room for a minute?"

"Uh, _no_ ," Lori replied without looking up. "I'm texting Bobby."

"I don't give a shit what you're doing," Lynn growled, "bring your ass in here now."

The tone of her sister's voice caught Lori's attention. She looked up, her eyes narrow. "Fine," she said. She sat her phone down and followed Lynn into Lisa's room. When they were both in, Lynn shut the door and leaned against it, her arms crossed.

"What is this about?" Lori asked.

"It's about Lincoln and Luan," Lisa said.

For a moment, Lori looked stricken.

"I've already told them that we know."

Lori sighed. "Alright. We know. They know we know. What's up?"

Lisa handed the letter to Lori.

"The full thing says BREAK UP WITH LINCOLN OR I'M TELLING MOM AND DAD. DON'T TELL HIM WHY," Luan said.

"There's also a compromising picture of them," Lisa said.

"Jesus," Lori muttered. Then it hit her. "You don't think _I_ did this, do you?"

"You're the prime suspect," Lynn said from her station by the door.

"It wasn't me. I was weirded out in the beginning, but I saw you guys telling Lincoln how much you loved him, and...it was so sweet. I figured if you guys really felt that way, I should just shut my mouth and leave you alone."

"You were watching us?" Lynn asked.

"We were observing you via camera," Lisa confirmed. "Only because we were concerned."

"I promise you I didn't do this," Lori said.

"Then who did?" Lynn demanded.

"I don't know," Lori said.

"Well we have to find out," Lynn said, "because this is jeopardizing Lincoln's happiness, and even though we aren't together, I love him, and if anyone fucks with him, I'll break their fucking nose, I don't care _who_ it is."

"Calm down," Lisa said. "I have handwriting samples from each of you on file. I will compare them to this and _should_ know afterward. In the meantime, I suggest you all return to your rooms and try to sleep."

That night, Luan struggled to sleep. Someone was trying to ruin hers and Lincoln's relationship, and it made her furious. But not just furious: Frightened. She loved Lincoln, and not being with him was hell. Even at school, she felt jittery and restless, checking the clock and drumming her fingers on her desk. She was like a junkie in need of a fix. Lincoln was her sunshine. Without him, her life would be dark.

She cried herself to sleep, and later, much later, another letter appeared...


	7. You Have Until the End of the Day

Luan read the letter with trembling hands. In her chest, her heart throbbed like an abscessed tooth. Her stomach was sick, and her eyes leaked.

YOU HAVE UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY.

The words blurred as tears flooded her eyes. She sat on the edge of her bed and gave into her pain. Luna came into the room from the hall, still wearing the shorts and T-shirt she slept in; when she saw her sister sobbing, she stopped. "Whoa, you okay?"

She came over and sat next to her, putting her arm around her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Luan tried to speak, but only wept harder.

Luna hugged her shaking sister close to her. "It's okay, let it all out."

"You...you know about...me and...Lincoln?" Luan asked through her tears.

Luna stiffened. "Yeah," she finally said, "I know, but it's okay. If you guys are happy, whatever."

"No...it's..."

Luan forced out the story, and Luna's eyes widened.

"Who would do that?" she asked distastefully.

"I don't know," Luan moaned, "but I have to break up with him."

"Slow down," Luna said. "Maybe we can find out who did this."

Five minutes later, Lisa turned in her chair. "I don't know who wrote it," she admitted. "They took great pains to disguise their handwriting. As far as I can see, it's either me, Lucy, Luna, Leni, Lori, or Lynn, as we're the only ones who know. Other than that, I'm stumped."

"I wouldn't do something like this," Luna said, "I mean, this is pretty messed up."

"I have to break up with him," Luan said, and started crying again. Luna hugged her and Lisa looked on uncomfortably.

"I turned my cameras off long ago," Lisa said. "I will turn them back on and see if I can't observe anything. In the meantime...you probably should break up with him."

Luan cried harder, Luna shot Lisa a dirty look.

"I'm only advising that because if our parents are informed, they will most likely separate them and may even put them in therapy. Or worse. And I for one do not want to see my siblings ripped apart and possibly sent to the proverbial "somewhere" for their actions."

"She's right," Luan sobbed against Luna's chest.

"If it's any consolation, you have until the end of the day," Lisa offered, hoping that made her feel better; she didn't like seeing her this way. "Enjoy his company while you can."

Luna walked with Luan back to their room. Luan had stopped crying, but her face was red and her voice was hollow. "Thanks. I have to get ready."

A half an hour later, she met Lincoln two blocks down. It was chilly, a brisk wind blowing from the west, pushing leaves along like embers from a fire. When Luan saw him waiting for her, her stomach turned, and her pace slackened.

 _You have until the end the day_ , she told herself. _Enjoy his company while you can_.

When she reached him, he started to speak, a look of concern crossing his face, but she silenced him with a kiss, sinking into his arms like putty. He was so warm, it felt so natural. Why couldn't people understand? She didn't choose to fall in love with him, it just happened, just like men falling in love with other men happened and women falling in love with women happened. No one wakes up and says, "Gee, I think I'm going to fall in love with someone I shouldn't today." She didn't, and she knew Lincoln didn't. It happened naturally. Neither could control it.

And someone didn't like it. Someone wanted to tear them apart and make them both miserable.

When the kiss broke, she leaned her forehead against his. "I love you," she said lowly.

"I love you too," he replied. "Is everything okay?"

She nodded. "Just hormonal, I guess."

"Nothing's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Not when you hold me like this."

Lincoln held her tighter. Neither cared who saw.

"Come on," Luan said, taking his hand. "We're going to be late."

They walked hand-in-hand to school, pausing at the front entrance. "I'll see you later," she said, then let go and went in, leaving Lincoln alone in the cold, his stomach starting to twist. She said everything was okay, but he could feel that it wasn't. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were red. She sounded different, too. '

Lincoln walked around to the side door, worry gnawing at his stomach. He was so consumed with it that he didn't feel the disapproving gaze of his teacher, who stood by the window.

 _Where's Luan?_ Ms. Johnson silently asked the boy as he trudged across the schoolyard. The parents probably separated them. Mr. Loud seemed to be in denial, but she'd planted a seed of doubt in his head. Last night, she imagined, he barged into the room and found them naked and sweaty in bed. _Lincoln's wonderful teacher was right!_

She watched the boy that day. He was quieter than usual, preoccupied. There was something like sadness in his eyes, and Agnes Johnson felt a twinge of something she was not used to: Guilt.

Agnes Johnson was not a warm woman. She was aware of that fact. However, seeing Lincoln this way bothered her.

While the kids went to lunch, she sat alone in her classroom, eating a frozen dinner and deciding whether or not she should call the Loud parents and see if she could walk back what she had said the previous day.

 _Or you could stop meddling_.

True, that was always an option. If she had minded her own business this wouldn't have happened in the first place.

At the end of the day, she drove home and sat in her armchair in front of the TV, lost in thought. It was for the best, she decided. Children make mistakes. Teen pregnancy was rampant, sexual activity even more so. It was bad enough when children accidentally wound up having children themselves, but imagine the trauma, and the lasting effects, of _siblings_ winding up pregnant!

Across town, Lincoln and Luan walked home, taking the long way again. "Are you sure everything's okay, Luan?"

"Yes," she said hollowly.

"You seem...upset."

"I'm not," she said, and turned to him, forcing a smile. "See?"

Lincoln held her close but didn't speak. Soon, they parted, and Luan went ahead. He was getting tired of hiding from everyone. He wanted the world to know how much he loved Luan. So what if she was his sister. If people had a problem with that, it was on them.

 _Why can't people just let us be happy?_ Luan thought as she sat her backpack by the foot of her bed. _Why are people such assholes?_

What hurt her even more was this: That asshole was one of her sisters...

The simple betrayal twisted in her heart like a knife. She drew a heavy sigh and began to prepare herself for what was to come.

 _I'm doing this for you,_ she thought at dinner. She stared down at her plate and picked at her food. She looked at each of her sisters, wondering which one was the Judas. It wasn't Lynn, and it most likely wasn't Lori. Neither Lana nor Lola even knew. That left Leni, Luna, Lucy, and Lisa. She didn't think it was Lisa, and Leni was too good-natured to do something so cruel ( _was_ she?). It had to be either Lucy or Luna.

After dinner, she went to her room and silently waited for bed. She was supposed to sleep with Lincoln tonight, but she wouldn't; she would sleep alone.

At midnight, she slipped out of her bed and went into Lincoln's room. He was sitting on his bed reading a comic book. He looked up and smiled when she entered. "Hey," he said, "I was wondering when you were going to come in."

"Hey, Linc," she said heavily. "We need to talk."

Lincoln blinked. "What about?" He sat the comic book down and sat up straight.

She'd spent the last two hours rehearsing what she was going to say. She hoped that by doing so the words would come more easily, but they didn't; they wedged in her throat like spikes.

"I-I think we should stop."

She quickly looked down at her feet, loathe to see his face when he realized what was happening.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"I can't be your girlfriend anymore."

The words hung heavy in the air. She closed her eyes against a sudden flood of tears.

Lincoln didn't reply for a minute. When he did, he sounded panicky. "W-Why? What's the matter?"

"I just...can't. I'm sorry, Lincoln. I love you but...we need to break up."

"Luan," he said, getting out of bed, his voice shaky, "why? Tell me. Please."

"I can't."

With that, she turned and fled back to her room, where she buried her face in her pillow and wept.

In his room, Lincoln stood shell-shocked. He turned dazedly away from the door, and the pain struck him all at once. He cried out and fell to his knees. Much like his sister down the hall, he buried his face into his bed and sobbed.

In the vents, his other sister watched him, her heart aching.

 _I know it hurts,_ she thought sadly, _but it'll pass, and I'll make you happier than she ever could have. I_ promise.


	8. Look What You're Doing to Your Family

Lincoln Loud never knew it was possible to hurt this badly. He'd been punched, kicked, bitten, and socked in the nuts more time than he could count. He'd fallen down the stairs, he'd fractured his ankle, he'd wrecked his bike, he'd hit his head. None of that compared to the chewing, toothy agony in his chest. It was so bad that he could barely move. Every waking moment was a nightmare, and when he slept, he woke himself up crying. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he didn't always wind up looking at the pictures on his phone, the ones of him and Luan smiling. Selfies at the park, at home, her giving him rabbit ears, him kissing her on the cheek. Her smile was so big, and her eyes so bright. He remembered the way she felt when she snuggled in his arms, remembered the smell of her hair, and it drove him deeper into depression.

Late at night, he paced his room, his breath coming in short, hot gasps, vacillating between rage and despair. How could she do this to him? How could she shatter his heart into a million pieces? And why?

Because he wasn't good enough, because no matter how hard he tried, he always fucked everything up. He was a walking catastrophe and he didn't deserve Luan. He deserved to fall into a pit somewhere. No, he didn't, because that thought actually _appealed_ to him. He deserved to go out into the house and act like everything was okay even though he was dying on the inside. He deserved to see Luan every second of every day and not have her, hug her, or be near her.

On the third day, Lynn came to him, her face a mask of worry. He was lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. He hadn't slept the night before, and he couldn't sleep now: His mind was fried and his heart was cold.

"Hey, bro," she said, "how're you holding up?"

He moved his foot in acknowledgement; speaking took too much energy.

"Hey," she said softly, sitting on the bed, "I know it hurts, and I'm sorry, but I'm sure she had a reason. And...and maybe it's not forever,"

"She did the right thing," Lincoln croaked. "I'm a screw-up."

"Lincoln, no," she said, and put her hand on his leg. "You're a great guy."

"No, I'm a piece of dirt. I don't deserve her."

He rolled over and faced the wall. Lynn rubbed his leg; he drew it to his chest. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to indulge in self-pity until I cry myself to sleep."

Taking the hint, Lynn got up and left, stopped at the door to look once more at her brother. Her heart hurt almost as much as his.

But Lynn didn't hurt long before anger took over. Sweet, cathartic anger.

And now the anger was taking over.

She stormed down the hall to Lori's room and threw open the door. Leni was doing Lori's nails, and jerked when the door crashed against the wall, getting polish on Lori's knuckles. "I want a family meeting in five minutes," Lynn said. "Stay your asses where they are."

From Lori's, she went to Lisa's room and opened the door. The young genius was typing at her computer.

"Lori's room," Lynn said, _"now."_

She gathered Lucy, Luna, and Luan, and inside of five minutes, they were gathered in Lori's room. Luan sat on Leni's bed, her face flushed and her eyes wet. She had been taking this just as hard, if not harder, than Lincoln: How many times over the past few days had she passed by Luan's room only to see her crying into her pillow? It pissed her off. It pissed her off that Lincoln was broken up, it pissed her off that Luan was broken up, and it _really_ pissed her off that one of her sister's was responsible.

She was so angry that she paced back and forth in front of the door, secretly hoping one of them tried to leave.

She wasn't sure she could even speak until she did. "I want whoever did this to come forward _right now_ or I swear to God I'll whip everyone's ass in this room. Except for Luan. The rest of you are gonna wish you were never fucking born."

"Lynn," Lori said.

"Shut up!" Lynn roared. "I don't know who did this and I'm not a fucking detective, so if no one wants to cop to it, _everyone's_ gonna suffer."

"Lynn, chill out," Luna said.

"Chill out? Have you seen Lincoln? Have you seen Luan? They're both miserable, and someone in this room is to blame. Someone who calls themselves our sister, someone sitting right here and pretending to give a shit about Lincoln, and Luan, and the rest of us but proving they don't give even half a shit." She looked from one of her sisters to the others. "You're not my fucking sister," she spat. "You're not shit to me. You're scum. You're a hateful, self-centered little bitch and if I ever find out who you are, I'll beat your ass every day until I go to college, then I'll come home on holidays and beat your ass some more."

"Lynn," Lisa said, "if I might make a suggestion..."

"What?"

"Strong-arming will get us nowhere..."

"I don't care. I want whoever you are to come forward _now_." Lynn punched the door for emphasis.

"Lynn!" Lori shouted. "Calm down!"

"Shut up!"

"You're acting like a psychopath."

Lynn lunged at her, but Luna caught her and held her back. "Calm down!"

"Don't tell me to calm down! Lincoln's in there thinking he's a screw up and that Luan was right to leave him! He's so hurt and confused he can barely get out of bed!"

Luan put her hand to her face and quietly wept.

"Beating us up isn't going to change that," Luna said.

"Yes it will!"

"Lynn," Lisa said firmly, her voice trembling, "stop. You're frightening me, and probably everyone else."

"Come forward, then," Lynn said to her sisters. "Whoever it is, come forward."

"You're acting crazy, Lynn," Lori said, getting up, "but you're not entirely wrong." She looked at her sisters. "I don't know who's doing this or why, but it needs to stop. Please...look at what you're doing to your family."

No one spoke.

"No one?"

"I have an idea," Lisa said, and everyone looked at her. "I began work on a prototype polygraph machine over the summer but abandoned it. I will start working on it again tonight, and inside of a week it should be done, then we can use it to find out who the blackmailer is." She looked pointedly at Lynn. "Will that prevent you assaulting everyone?"

Lynn's nostrils flared. "Yeah," she said.

Lisa nodded, and Luna released her sister.

"Alright," Lori said, looking to Luan, who cried against Leni's chest; Leni held her sister close and whispered in her ear. "Is there anything else?"

No one spoke. "Okay, meeting adjourned."

The Loud girls trickled into the hall. No one talked, no one laughed. Leni walked Luan back to her room.

"I can't do this to him," she said through her tears.

"It's okay," Leni said. "We're going to find out who it is, then you and Lincy can be boyfriend and girlfriend again."

That night, a figure slunk through the air vents and stopped over a vent. She peered down at her brother's upturned face. He was asleep, but not very deeply; he twitched and mumbled, and after a minute he changed positions, curling up on his side.

As she watched Lincoln with sadness and longing, Lynn's voice rang through her head. _You're scum. You're a self-centered little bitch._

It was true. She _was_ a self-centered little bitch, and right now she did indeed feel like scum.

 _I just want him to love me the way he loves Luan. I just want what they have._

It was so sweet and special and beautiful; she _ached_ to have it for herself. She didn't _mean_ to hurt him. Luan...well, she didn't mean to hurt her either, even though at times she thought she hated her (she didn't).

 _Time heals all wounds_ she told herself.

Only she didn't _have_ time. A week. That's it. Then what?

She didn't know. She'd have to do something.

She was so lost that she cried.


	9. Sad Songs (Say So Much)

Days came and went. The sun rose and set. Some days were sunny, others were cloudy. On Saturday it rained, and he forced himself to join his siblings in the living room. Luan was there, but she wouldn't even look at him. Luna, Lori, and Leni regarded him with something like pity, and he wondered if they knew.

On Sunday morning, he called Clyde and asked if he could spend the night. Usually Clyde stayed with him, but Lincoln needed to get out of the house. The walls were closing in on him, and everywhere he turned, he was reminded of Luan. Clyde was hesitant, but eventually asked his dads, who said yes. When he told his parents, he put on the happiest face he could. "I'm going to spend the night with Clyde and then go to school with him in the morning. If it's okay with you..."

"Sure," dad said.

"Fine with me, honey," mom added.

They noticed that he and Luan weren't spending as much time together. Lynn Sr. said "I told you so," and Rita felt awful for suspecting her son and daughter of incest. With that out of the way, why were all the kids so down in the dumps? Not all of them, actually, Lana and Lola bounded about like normal, it was the older ones. She suspected a fight, but didn't want to insert herself into it. If it persisted much longer, however, she would have to intercede.

Lincoln did his best to be bright and happy for Clyde. They rode bikes in the park (he and Luan had come here often...everywhere he looked, he saw only her), went to the arcade, and ate at the pizza parlor. That evening, they played video games and sat up reading comic books by flashlight. Surprisingly, Lincoln felt...better. The pain was still there, and could bubble up at any time, but having Clyde around made it manageable.

Falling asleep was difficult. The same thoughts raced through his mind. He wasn't good enough, there was something wrong with him, he was a loser and ugly and stupid and he lost the thing that mattered most to him in the world.

He finally slipped into a thin, fitful sleep before dawn. At school, he tried to focus on his work, but couldn't. At one point, Ms. Johnson came over and knelt next to his desk, worry on her face. "Are you feeling alright, Lincoln?"

He nodded. "Sure," he said, but he voice was unconvincing even to his own ears.

Ms. Johnson nodded and left him alone, but he caught her looking at him several times throughout the day.

At dismissal, he went out the side door and spotted Luan across the playground, walking toward the gate, a book hugged to her chest and her head hung. He remembered the many times he'd come through this door and she was waiting for him, and the pain threatened to overwhelm him. He watched her walk, his heart throbbing, and followed when he felt he was far enough behind not to encounter her on the way home.

In her classroom, Agnes Johnson picked up the phone and dialed a number. On the fifth ring, Rita Loud answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mrs. Loud, this is Lincoln's teacher."

"Oh, hello," Mrs. Loud replied. "Is something the matter?"

"No, actually...I just want to apologize for the other day. I believe I greatly overreacted in regards to your son and daughter."

"I noticed they've been closer than usual lately, but over the past few days, they've had very little interaction."

"I was...I was just concerned. I care very much about my students and want to make sure they are safe and happy. Sometimes that leads me to become somewhat nosey and overbearing, which is wrong. I had absolutely no right to say the things I did."

On her way home, Luan shuffled her feet against the pavement. She hated the thought of going home, of being surrounded by thoughts and memories of Lincoln. She hated the thought of being in the same room with him. When she was, she was hyper aware of his presence, but couldn't bring herself to even look at him; she didn't think she could bear seeing the pain in his eyes. If she looked at him and saw that, she knew she wouldn't be able to contain herself, she'd throw herself at him and kiss him right there in front of God and everyone. She hated the thought of watching the sun go down and crawling into a cold, empty bed and struggling to sleep. And she _loathed_ the dreams she knew she would have: Her and Lincoln lying in tall summer grass, the sun warm against their skin, they hands intertwined. She woke from them feeling such loss that she doubled over in agony.

She was in hell, she realized. Hell wasn't fire and it wasn't ice, it was separation from Lincoln, it was being forced to see him every day but not being able to look at him or touch him.

When she got home, she threw her book onto the floor at the foot of her bed and dropped onto the covers. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to escape the torment. She felt drained enough to sleep, but she knew that sleep wouldn't come. She would lie awake.

Time passed. The sun set. Leaves fell. Blustery wind roared in the eaves and rattled the window pane. The moon sailed across the inky sky, tendrils of its light creeping into the room and crawling across the walls. She watched it with empty indifference. It was cold, so cold. She shivered and hugged herself. She remembered the warmth of being in Lincoln's arms, and her stomach panged with loss. Was it possible to die of a broken heart? She didn't think it was, but she felt like she was dying. No, that wasn't right. She felt like she was already dead.

The sun rose. He watched as the first rays of the new day painted the walls with golden light. He dreamed of her again. They held each other in a place of glowing light. He was warm and happy. Coming awake, the vision burned away like old film strip, and cold crept into his bones. He hugged his pillow and pretended it was Luan, but it wasn't, and he cried into it. He didn't care anymore. He couldn't hold himself together. He shook with the power of his sobs.

In the vents, one of his sisters heard, and her heart broke.

She went through the motions of her day. Lights, sounds, and colors whirled by in a sickening blur. Her face was flush, her head was achy. A tightness gripped her chest, and it was hard to breathe. She fought against the urge to panic, and at lunch, she went into the girl's room and sat on one of the toilets, taking deep, evenly spaced breaths. Other girls came in and she listened as they chatted and giggled. She envied them. She wished she _was_ them so that she would no longer feel the pain.

The second half of the day went faster. Before she knew it, she was home, where she sat on the edge of the couch, staring at the TV but not seeing it. Her siblings came home one-by-one and bounded up the stairs, talking, yelling, screaming, and arguing. She wished she was Luna, or Leni, or Lori. But Luna and Leni and Lori didn't have Lincoln. She did. For a little while, at least, and those days were the happiest of her life. She wouldn't trade them for anything.

The back of her neck prickled. She turned, and Lincoln was standing in the doorway to the kitchen. She turned quickly away, and closed her eyes against rising tears. She could feel him watching her. Then, with a sad, watery sigh, he passed by and trudged up the stairs.

He thought he was a screw-up and that he didn't deserve her. He was hurt and confused. That's what Lynn said, and it hurt her so fucking bad. _She_ was the one who didn't deserve _him_. He was an angel. One of a kind.

And look what she was putting him through. Of course, it was better this way. For both of them. Because if their parents found out...

When she felt the tears coming, she fled to her room and sat in the gloom.

In his own room, Lincoln laid on his bed and gazed up at the shadows nesting in the corners. He wanted so badly to reach out to her, to touch her, to talk to her, but he doubted she would have it, which was just as well. He didn't trust himself to speak to her right now. He would probably break down and cry.

The last light drained from the day, and he was alone in darkness.

Luan was alone too. They were rooms apart, but worlds away, both isolated in their own personal hells. The sun set, the sun rose. Leaves fell. The sky turned gray and leaden. It grew cold, but not as cold as Lincoln and Luan's hearts. The rain, when it fell, hissed in the street. The world looked bleak.

So, so bleak.


	10. Ronnie and Leni

She'd watched him for weeks. Sometimes, she took the long way home and walked past his house, her hands shoved into the oversized pockets of her hoodie, slackening her pace and scanning the front windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of him but rarely succeeding. She saw him at lunch every day. They sat together, they talked, but something was different, something she couldn't quite place. He was...distant. That was the word. Every so often she'd text him on a Saturday or a Sunday to see if he wanted to hang out. He hardly ever did. "I'm helping Lucy with a poem," he'd say, or "I'm helping Lynn practice." Excuses, excuses, excuses.

It was strange. There was a time, and not long ago, when he would text _her_ asking if she wanted to go to the arcade or to the park. Sometimes she blew him off because all the girls' magazines she read said you should play hard to get. If a boy gives up too easily, he never really liked you in the first place. 99 percent of the time, she dropped whatever she was doing to see him.

Because she liked him.

God help her, she liked Lincoln Loud.

And he liked her too. Or so she thought. During the first half of the summer, they spent more time together than apart. Sure, sometimes he brought dopey Clyde along, but she didn't mind. Starting in August, however, the stopped coming, and when she reached out to him first, he was always busy.

It pissed her off.

Being virtually ignored in general pissed her off, but being ignored by a boy she liked? That _really_ pissed her off, because it hurt.

Over the past week or week and a half, something changed in him, and her anger turned to concern. His face was white and his cheeks sunken, his eyes were perpetually bloodshot and puffy like he'd spent the night crying. When she tried to talk to him, he said he was fine, but that was all; it seemed like talking was too much for him lately. Today, the day before Halloween, he spent the lunch period alone in the library, sitting in a chair and staring out at the cold autumn rain. What was wrong with him? Why was he so depressed?

And why didn't he like her anymore?

Was it something she did?

She watched him for a long time before deciding she wanted answers. She stormed into the cafeteria and found Clyde eating lunch with a couple of his dork friends. She went up to him and slapped him lightly on the top of his head. He jerked and turned, his eyes going wide.

"Ron –?"

"What's the deal with Lincoln?" she demanded. "He's been acting strange lately."

"I don't know," Clyde said. "He won't talk to me about it."

She had a hard time believing that. Clyde was his best friend. Flashing, she grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled her fist back.

"I swear! He won't say!"

She sighed through clenched teeth, and shoved Clyde away. She turned on her heels, and that's when she saw Luan sitting at a table by herself. She didn't look too hot either. Come to think of it, all the Louds seemed a bit off lately. She considered going over to Luan and demanding an explanation, but stopped herself. It must be a family thing, like a dead relative or something. That thought gave her pause. If it was, she should probably give him his room.

She wasn't used to just sitting back and waiting. That wasn't her style. For Lincoln, though, she guessed she would.

She hoped he got over it soon.

She missed him.

At home, Luan sank onto her bed and prepared for another long night. The dreams were becoming more vivid, the empty feeling in her stomach when she woke worse. It had to end at some point, right?

"Hey," Lucy said from the door, and Luan jumped.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Lucy said. She looked over her shoulder and came into the room. "I...I think I know who it is."

Luan's stomach tightened. "Who?"

Lucy sat next to her on the bed and sighed. "I didn't want to say anything because..." she trailed off and looked at Luan, her eyes undiscernible behind her bangs. "I don't want to see our family come apart over this. I know you and Lincoln love each other, and that's great, he's great, but it scares me."

"Who?" Luan insisted.

"The night you got that second note, I got up to use the bathroom, and Leni was coming down the hall from the general direction of your room. She didn't see me."

Luan's cheeks flushed with rage. Leni?

"Don't tell Lynn," Lucy said. "Or Lori."

But Luan was already up, already stomping down the hall. "Luan!" Lucy called after her. "Please!"

Luan threw Lori and Leni's door open. Lori was typing on her laptop and Leni was doing her nails. They both looked up.

" _You!"_ Luan spat, pointing at Leni.

"Me what?"

"You're the one who sent me those letters!"

Leni blinked, and Lori whipped her head around to glare at her.

"I am?"

"Lucy said she saw you by my room the night I got the second one."

Lori looked at Luan, then to Leni. "Is this true?"

Leni cocked her head and raised a finger to her chin, her tongue plastered to her upper lip. "I don't think so. If I was, I was sleepwalking."

"Sleepwalking?" Luan asked, incredulous.

Lori slowly nodded. "Yeah, she sleepwalks sometimes."

"Yeah," Leni said, "ask Lisa."

Three minutes later, Lisa nodded her head. "Leni sporadically walks in her sleep." 

"I would _never_ do that to you and Lincy," she said, hurt creeping into her voice. "I love you guys and I want you to be happy."

Luan felt like shit. "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm just...keyed up is all."

"Next time you have a suspicion, please come to me or Lori," Lisa said.

"The last thing this family needs is a witch hunt," Lori added. "Lise, how's the lie detector coming?"

"There were a few bugs I hadn't anticipated, but it should be ready by the day after tomorrow. Certainly no later than Friday."

Later still, one of Lincoln's sisters watched him sadly from the vent as he slept. She was stubborn. She had caused him so much pain, and Luan too. And at some point, her dark secret would come to light.

"I'm sorry, Lincoln," she whispered. "I love you."


	11. It All Comes to Light

It had been nearly a week, but Luan didn't know that. Time had lost all meaning for her. She watched day turn into night and night into day, but that was all she knew. What did it matter if it was 12 noon or 12 midnight? It was all the same. She was vaguely aware that it was Halloween because Lola and Lana had been talking about it at dinner the night before, but she didn't care. She wouldn't even have cared if it was April Fool's Day.

She walked to school through the chill morning. The sun was high and bright, but its warmth didn't reach her. At school, some kids wore costumes, and paper bats, skeletons, and black crape hung here and there.

The day alternately dragged and went by very quickly. She didn't want to be here, and she didn't want to be at home. She didn't want to be anywhere.

When the final bell rang, she gathered her books and went out a side door. She paused when she saw Lincoln ahead, his hands in his pockets and his gaze downcast. He looked so miserable.

That brought a fresh rush of tears. Why couldn't she stop fucking crying?

She waited until he was out of sight before continuing on. At home, the atmosphere was dark and oppressive. She sighed and went upstairs. She sat her books on her dresser and then went to the bathroom. She avoided looking at herself in the mirror.

Luna wasn't home yet, so she was alone. Though it didn't matter _who_ was there. Without Lincoln, she was desolate.

She was thinking of trying to take a nap when Lisa appeared in the doorway. "Can I have moment, please?"

Luan sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was socialize. "What is it?"

"I found something that might be of interest to you."

"Alright," she said. She got up and followed Lisa to her room. Lisa sat in a chair and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"What did you find?" Luan asked.

"My conscious." Lisa drew a deep breath. "Luan...I'm the one who sent you those letters."

Luan's jaw dropped. "You?"

Lisa nodded. "Me."

"But...why?"

Lisa sighed and looked down at her lap. "Two months ago, I watched as two of my sisters fell in love with my brother. I was never particularly uncomfortable with the idea, even in the beginning. In fact, I thought...I thought it was sweet. After you and Lincoln committed to one another and the dust settled, so to speak, I found myself wondering _why_. Incestuous relationships are far more common than one might think, but they are still statistically rare. In the name of science, I sat down and attempted to answer my question. I listed all of Lincoln's good qualities and observed them closely. I realized what a sweet, gentle person he is. Lincoln is a rare breed. Along the way, I fell in love with him."

Luan rubbed her forehead.

"I became jealous of what you shared. I envied it so much, Luan. I spent over a month resenting you because you're so lucky to have him. I wanted that for myself. I wanted Lincoln to look at me the way he looked at you. I wanted him to hold my hand the way he held yours. I wanted to be loved. I wanted someone to hold me and make me feel the way you felt. And I wanted that person to be our brother."

Lisa sighed and looked up. Her eyes were red. Tears trickled down her cheeks.

"But I knew deep down that I could never be as beautiful or bubbly as you. I'm plain and dull. I thought...I thought that maybe I could steal him from you under the right circumstances. I knew I would never be able to take him fair and square. Some women might be able to lure a man away from a happy relationship, but I couldn't. So I decided I had to break you up, and then. When the time was right, I would present my shoulder for him to cry on. I would listen to him. I would be there for him. I would try to make him love me. I was so caught up in my own emotions that I failed to realize how strongly this would affect him, and you. I'm a lot of things, Luan, but I am not heartless. It's been nearly two weeks, and neither one of you has stopped crying, neither one has made progress toward even the basest adjustment. I assumed it would take time, but seeing you, and especially Lincoln, in this amount of pain...I can't do it."

Luan fell against the doorjamb, her knees having given out.

"I'll understand if you no longer wish to speak to me. What I did was wrong and I apologize. I hope, however, that at some point you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Lisa..."

"I know," Lisa said, hanging her head. "I'm ashamed of my behavior. I'm scum. I'm a self-centered bitch. And I deserve to have my ass whipped until Lynn goes to college, then on major school holidays. The pain of that, I imagine, would never compare to the pain I've put you and Lincoln through."

Luan went to her sister and knelt. She took her hands in hers and looked into her eyes. "I forgive you."

Lisa broke down, and Luan held her. "I'm sorry," Lisa said, "I'm so sorry. I just want to be loved."

"I love you, Lisa. Lincoln loves you. We all love you. And one day, you'll meet a man who will fall totally in love with you."

"Who could love me?" Lisa asked. "Look at me. I'm ugly, I'm cold, I'm analytical. I'm selfish."

"You're beautiful, intelligent, and, no, you aren't selfish. You've done so much for all of us. You made a mistake. You're _human_." Luan stroked her sister's cheek and kissed her forehead.

Lisa snuggled closer to her sister like the little girl everyone forgot she was. "I don't see beauty when I look in the mirror. I see dull dishwater."

"Do you know what I see when _I_ look in the mirror?"

"What?"

"I see Sandy from _Spongebob Squarepants."_

That shocked a chuckle from Lisa.

"I'm serious," Luan said. "I have an overbite and it will always be that way. These are my adult teeth. I'm going to have chipmunk teeth until the day I die. I'm not beautiful. But that's okay, because you don't have to be beautiful to _feel_ beautiful, and one day, Lisa, you'll have someone who makes you feel like the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth."

Lisa didn't speak for a long time. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Shhh."

"Please don't tell the others."

"I won't," Luan promised and hugged her sister.

Lisa sighed. "Luan?"

"Yes?"

"You should go to Lincoln. Immediately."

Luan smiled. "Lisa...you read my mind."


	12. Brother and Sister Reunion

There was no escape. He was trapped in a pit of despair and the walls were smooth, slanted. He couldn't climb up, not matter how hard he tried. His fingertips were raw, bloody, his toes broken. He laid on his side, his arms wrapped around his knees.

 _This will be every day until you die._

Yes. It would. Maybe some people were strong enough to come back from losing the love of their life, but he wasn't one of them. He was too sensitive. He strove to _not_ be, but it was his nature: Some men are built to kill, some to create art, some to be assholes or saints, and some to be sensitive. He wished it wasn't so, and had for years.

 _Not only are you sensitive, you're weak._

That was also true. He was scrawny, ineffectual, cuckholded by his sisters (was that the word? He thought it was. It meant they pushed and bossed him around). No wonder Luan didn't want him. He was pitiful.

 _Be a man. Get her back._

But how? He doubted swaggering around like a muscle-bound beach bully would entice her; that would be a little much. Maybe he should show her that he wasn't a limp dishrag. Stand up for himself more often. He could pick a fight with Lynn. She always kicked his ass, but as desperate as he was, he was sure he could hold his own.

No. That was a terrible idea.

Sweep her off her feet! That's it! Buck up and tell her how you feel. Be forceful, but not "You're getting back with me whether you like it or not" forceful, but passionate, forward. "This is how I feel and I want us to be together." The least she could do was give him an explanation. What was wrong with him? Was there someone better?

He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. Outside, the sky was turning soft and purple. Screaming kids ran by on the sidewalk, and for a moment Lincoln was confused. What was happening?

Ah. Right. Halloween. Duh.

He got up and snapped on the light. In the mirror over his desk, he studied his reflection. His face looked thinner. He hadn't eaten much since Luan broke up with him. Dark bags hung under his eyes. Sleep was something else he hadn't had much of.

"You look like shit," he croaked, and laughed. All the stress and all the pain bubbled up, and made him laugh harder. Shit. He looked like shit. Hahahahahahaha.

When the storm passed, he blinked and took a deep breath. "Luan..." he said, "I love you with all my heart and I want us to be together. And if we can't, I want to know why."

He thought for a moment. Was that passionate enough? Heartfelt enough?

"You are the light of my life, and ever since you broke up with me, I have been in darkness. Each day has been a complete misery and I don't know..."

No, he didn't like that. Why was it so damn hard?

Screw it. He threw open the door and stepped into the hall, his heart bouncing when he saw Luan coming toward him from the bathroom. She was grinning ear-to-ear.

"Luan," he said and swallowed, "I..."

She shoved him back into his room and kissed him. For a moment he was so shocked that he didn't kiss her back, then he did, grabbing her hips and drawing her close. Their tongues danced across one another, urgently, hungrily. She pressed against him, and he pressed back. She pressed harder, and they tumbled onto the bed. Lincoln lost himself in a moment of perfect bliss, and didn't find himself until she pulled away.

"I'm so sorry, Lincoln," she said. "I didn't want to but I had to."

"Why?"

"It doesn't matter now. It's over and I have you back. That's all that matters."

Lincoln was confused. He started to speak, but she kissed him again.

"I missed you so much," he said later. Her head rested against his chest, and he lazily stroked her hair.

"I missed you too," she replied. "So much."

After that, neither one of them spoke. At some point, Lynn came to the door, which stood still open, and poked her head in. She blinked in surprise.

"Uh, we're leaving in a few minutes."

 _Leaving?_

Oh. Right. Halloween.

"Alright," Luan said, getting up. Lincoln sighed. He didn't want her to go. "Come on," she said, "it'll be sweet. Get it?"

In the hall, Lynn grabbed Luan's arm.

"What's going on? I thought..."

"It's over. I know who did it."

Lynn's eyes narrowed. "Who?"

"It doesn't matter. She came clean and she's sorry."

"Sorry isn't good enough for what she did to you guys, for what she did to Lincoln."

"It's good enough for me, so it's good enough for you. Drop it."

Luan pulled away, and Lynn stared after her. She turned to Lincoln's room. He was sitting up and smiling.

Maybe Luan was right.

She poked her head into Lisa's room. Her younger sister was sitting with her back to the door, her shoulders slumped.

"Guess we don't need your lie detector."

"Why's that?"

"Luan found out who it was."

"She did?" Lisa turned,

"Yep. Lucky thing _I_ didn't. You ready to go?"

"No," Lisa said, turning away. "I don't feel very well."

"What's wrong?"

"Gastrointestinal distress."

Lynn didn't reply.

"Upset belly," Lisa clarified.

"Oh...I hope you feel better." 


	13. Their First Time

Lincoln didn't have a costume, but he didn't care. He was so happy he didn't even care if he got a single piece of candy.

"I don't have a costume, so I guess I'll just wear this"

He turned. Luan was standing in his doorway. She was dressed in black pants, a black and white striped shirt, and a black beret. He mime outfit. She was so striking that Lincoln's breath caught in his throat.

"You look beautiful," he said.

"Thanks," she replied, blushing and rubbing the back of her neck. "And you look handsome. But you always do."

Lincoln could only smile. What he felt was beyond words. Maybe there was a phrase in another language that could approximate the joy burning in his soul, but there were none in English...as far as he knew.

"Kids!" mom called up the stairs. "Let's go!"

"Are you ready?" Luan asked.

"Yes."

They went downstairs together. The atmosphere had lightened over the past two hours, a fact that was not lost on Rita Loud. As she walked the younger kids along the sidewalk (Lisa wasn't feeling well and asked to stay home; Lynn Sr. stayed with her), she drew lungful of crisp autumn air and let it out. Whatever had gotten the kids so glum, it was over. She was proud that her children were so good at working through their issues. When she was a girl, she and her own siblings were never given the opportunity. She deeply loved her mother and father, but they were from a different generation. They were fair, but tough, and sometimes heavy-handed. Whenever a petty squabble arose among the children, they would step in and lay down the law, and nine times out of ten, it only made things worse. She vowed to raise her children differently, and many times over the years she wondered if she had made the right choice. At times like this, she realized she had.

The older Loud kids broke off from the younger ones at the end of the driveway, going across the street then up. For a time, Lincoln and Luan simply walked close, slowly falling behind the others. Gangs of princesses, pirates, vampires, ghosts, and superheroes streamed happily by.

Finally, Lincoln said, "I was starting to go crazy without you."

"Me too," she said and shuffled her feet.

"When I came out of my room earlier...I was on my way to get you back."

"You had me the whole time, Linc. I only did it because I had to." She stopped. Should she tell him why? She didn't want him to feel the same betrayal she had felt. She forgave Lisa and meant it. Lisa was her sister and she still loved her, but it still hurt her. She didn't want Lincoln to have to experience that.

"There were a couple times I almost gave in," she said.

"Me too."

His hand crept into hers, and she squeezed it.

"But that's the past," she said.

"I hope so. I never want to feel like that again."

"Neither do I."

While the others went up to doors and held out their bags, Lincoln and Luan stayed back, never unclasping their hands. They didn't care who saw or what they said. It had been two long, arduous weeks, and each was parched for the touch and closeness of the other. At ten, they started home, the night stretching before them. Lincoln waited up for her, sitting in his bed and reading Ace Savvy comics by flashlight. She didn't say she would come, but he knew she would.

It was nearly one when she did. She was wearing a thin night dress, her hair hanging down around her shoulders. When he saw her, his heart skipped a beat, and he sat aside his comic, a stupid grin spreading across his face.

She crawled into bed, and then into his arms. For a long time, they simply held each other.

"I missed this," she said.

"Hmmmm. So did I."

He ran his fingers through her hair. It was soft like silk.

She looked up at him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The kissed long and deep, passion rising between them. He stroked her cheek, her neck; she slipped her hands under his shirt, and his stomach quivered under her warm touch. He ran his hands down her sides, and when he reached the bottom of her dress, she pulled back and slipped it off, tossing it casually aside. Lincoln's eyes widened. A devilish smile played at her lips.

She grabbed his hands and pressed them against her breasts. They were warm and pert.

They did many things that night, but sleeping was not one of them.

 **Well, that's all, folks. I know some of you think my stories are too short, but I try not to pad the word count too much. I'd rather have a 9.5 story at 15k words than a bloated monstrosity.**

 **I'm sure some of you are just itching to tear me a new ass hole over the ending. Hate mail is welcome. You wouldn't be the first person to call me names.**

 **For those of you who aren't seeing red, you might be happy to know that I'm working on another sequel (getting tired of me yet?). It's called "A Storm in Their Lives" and I'll post the first chapter in a little bit. This one is going to be longer. I suck at summarizing my own work, but here's the basic premise: As the biggest, most destructive blizzard in forty years bears down on Royal Woods, Lincoln finally reveals his relationship to a lovelorn Ronnie Anne (she doesn't take it well), Clyde's obsession with Lori turns dark, an escaped serial killer terrorizes the snow beleaguered town, and unexpected love blossoms. I'm already 6,000 words in and the first snowflake hasn't even fallen yet, so if you want something longer, you're probably going to get it.**

 **Oh, and a note on this story: I owe a debt of gratitude to DarthSidious04 for suggesting another sister fall in love with Lincoln in this story. I'd considered it, but thought it was over the top. They made the suggestion just as I was looking for another element to bring the story together, and I realized I was wrong. Thanks!**


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